Download America's Dumbest Criminals: Wild and Weird Stories of by Daniel R. Butler, Leland Gregory, Alan Ray PDF

By Daniel R. Butler, Leland Gregory, Alan Ray

This hysterical selection of tales of tangible crimes dedicated through clumsy crooks and fumbling felons may have you guffawing out loud at painfully dumb makes an attempt at crime. Illustrated.

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Additional info for America's Dumbest Criminals: Wild and Weird Stories of Fumbling Felons, Clumsy Crooks, and Ridiculous Robbers

Sample text

Don’t look at me,” he warned. ” “That would be difficult,” she told the crook. ” “Well, you just look straight ahead. ” She didn’t. Momentarily frustrated, the bandit then remembered that banks keep counter checks available for customer use. He directed his victim to drive back to the bank. They went inside to one of the desks, where he directed her to write a check for eighty-five dollars. She didn’t bother to tell him she didn’t have that much in the account. But she did try to communicate with the teller.

He would always hide his face in some way or pull the blinds halfway so that he could only be seen from the waist down. These precautions made it more difficult for him to be identified (especially in light of the fact that the police don’t hold naked lineups). After receiving a number of complaints one day, the Little Rock Police Department sent over one of its best officers to investigate. As the detective knocked on Jack’s door, he thought about how hard it was to prove cases like Jack’s. ” Our detective decided to take a different approach.

Except, finally, the chief. “Son,” he said, his face relaxing into something like a smile, “if you’ll show criminals for the coldhearted dumbasses they are, and if you’ll show our police force as being professional at all times . . ” Over the next six months, this scene was repeated over and over. The stories were not all funny ones. With each officer that we interviewed, we felt the weight each one carries daily—the weight of pain and sadness and even fear. But police work, like any other stressful profession, is full of moments when situations take a turn for the absurd and when laughter seems as appropriate as tears.

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